My name is Jenzy. I’m a 39 year old single mother, living in a tiny town – East coast of Canada. Previously a small department store manager, I’m now currently on EI, and a full-time student – hoping that upon completion, it’ll allow me the pleasure of working from home.

My weight is something I’ve battled with my entire life, one diet after another and I’m always procrastinating with the “I’ll start Monday” thing, only to make it till Tuesday around lunch time accepting that, I’ve yet again, failed.

I’ve a bit of a shady past, was in trouble a bit when I was a teenager, a few unhealthy relationships, a failed marriage and as many single parents can relate, financially, it’s been a struggle these past few years just making sure my kids receive the variety of things they need to have and putting food on the table.

I’ve also been battling bouts of depression off and on for the past few years, and am currently seeking a doctor that will teach me how to better handle the harsh reality of the choices I’ve made in my life. Some days are Ok and I get through them without regret and feeling sorry for myself, other days I feel that I’m reaching a breaking point and admit that I sometimes wonder if it’d be better to just not be here.

I’ve a variety of things I enjoy, travelling (Ok, something I dream of doing but still!) decorative painting, reading, hanging out with my kids, and ‘babying’ my Shit-zu just to name a few.

I’ve a tendency to curse, say what others may only be thinking and enjoy smoking a bit of pot in the evenings (never with my children present) – but I’ve grown tired of the effect. Chronic the past year and a half, it’s helped me to ‘forget’ or at least eased my mind enough that I forget about ‘things’, if that makes sense. But needless to say, I allow it to control me by trying to justify my late night eating habits and I’m ready to stop.

My weight has gone from 130lbs to 175lbs (178.5 on my start day) over the past couple of years, I feel fat, disgusting, worthless, ashamed and have reached the point where I more often than not, avoid social situations as often as possible. Sometimes I go to the extent of avoiding any text messages, any phone calls, etc, just to avoid people.

With that said, I have made a very conscious decision that I need to correct this self-destructive behaviour, not only before it’s too late, but before it rubs off on my kids. My kids are my EVERYTHING and without them, I’m nothing.

I hope that the phrase ‘Better late than never‘ is acceptable one for me to be using. ♥