Sometimes, after writing a post like the last one, I feel a little embarrassed or somewhat annoyed that I let myself share it all with the world, but then again, I really do appreciate the comments and advice I’m getting. Strange as it may sound, I’m getting strength from it …

So, today I have decided NOT to get any more pot, but instead I’ve dug out all my decorative painting supplies and am going to try to get back into that. It’s something I used to enjoy, will keep my hands busy and Gawd knows it’ll be more ‘therapeutic’ than getting high. This is the 3rd day without it already, I can and will kick the damn habit.

I received an odd email this morning, asking why I’ve not put a picture of myself up, and did I feel I was to ‘hideous’ etc, wow.

To answer the question truthfully, although I plan on putting pictures up starting Wednesday – I don’t intend to include my face. Not because I think I’m hideous but because I’ve a portfolio website online with an older picture of myself, one that I’m not so overweight in. At 5 2″ 1/2, my weight has gone from 125lbs to nearly 175 and I’m embarrassed. I’ve always gotten attention from men and have been told I ‘still’ look good, and/or carry the extra weight OK or that I’m ‘pretty’ so I can get away with the extra weight or it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel that way at all, when I look into a mirror I see an aging woman … I’m hoping the way I see myself will gradually change into something better though. Besides, who’s to say they actually mean it or they’re simply on the hunt for a place to dump it? Sorry, I know my choice of words are rather nasty at times, but no point in beating around the bush is there?

So, anyone in need of a web design facelift? 😀