Tag Archive: lazy


Fatttttttttt

Right, OK. So, I’m an idiot.

This is the final night of the weed, just finished it up. Fucked up my eating the other night, yesterday was shit (the right choices but seriously over ate) and today, well … chocolate and everything else ffs. Everyone keeps saying “It’s Christmas” blah blah blah, but, to myself I think NO FUCKING MORE EXCUSES!

On a lighter note, Christmas was nice. Had a great morning with my kids and then had ALL my boys together when my oldest and his girlfriend showed up. 🙂 Feels awkward sometimes though when they’re over, today did at least, things just so quiet … much of the talk was of nothing specifac. Can’t quite put my finger on it …

Anyway, I’ve fucked up, moods off and I feel frustrated, a little lazy and I’ve the energy of a nuns c^nt.

 

Advertisements

Well Then

I’ve been so busy catching up on everyone elses posts, I’ve neglected to update on my wonderful life. Ha.

Wednesday was my ‘weigh in’ … lost 6 pounds the first week! That was the result of eating properly … today for only the second time, I’ve managed to toss some good old-fashioned exercise into the mix. Treadmill, 30 minutes, nearly died. It’s been so long.

Christmas is done, all I’ll be doing at least.

My mood has been shit, tired, lazy, cranky, feeling sorry for myself, not wanting to bother with anyone, ignoring the phone, texts, etc. Same shit different day yeah. Falling behind in bills again. I find that in order to keep up with one bill, I fall behind in another, never a happy medium. So tired of this shit, tired of talking about it, tired of writing about it, tired of worrying about it. 39 years old and I feel 90 some days. Speaking of which, I can see crows feet or whatever you call it forming around my eyes, I think. 😦 Holy eff.

Think it’s time I’ve written about my personal life, the man thing … in desperate need of some advice. Life is going nowhere, can’t imagine anything improving in this shit hole of a town and if I hear one more person say to me ‘life is whatcha make it’ I’m gonna kick em in the #$#@*!

I’ll save it for tomorrow, gonna stick Revolution Road in and fall asleep.

I feel that Gawd hates me and I don’t know why
My heart pains daily and I just wanna cry

I’ve texted my dealer he’s replied with a grin
I know it’s been weeks but I’m about to give in

I long for stability, I’m so fucking tired
I’m really longing to get completely wired