Tag Archive: high


Letting myself down

I’ve slipped back into the hole, I just don’t get it.

I’ve given up pot, smoking, was taking my meds, working out regularly, eating right, etc, until a couple of days ago. BAM. FUCKING POW. First just a ‘little’ pot, then a ‘little’ more, but then hey, someone offers you a sweet deal and I think o yeah, I can handle this, I’m OK – and here I am again on a fucking bender it feels like. High every night, ignoring everyone, text messages I rarely check till I feel like actually moving and saying the hell with the meds.

Maybe they were helping more than I think, at least I felt like I was in control better when I actually stick with them, but one of the worst side effects is that it can make rubbing one-off near impossible, it’s like everything goes numb down there and I often feel somewhat sedated on them – and not the fun kind of sedated either… it frustrates me so damn bad sometimes.

Back to the drawing board tomorrow, I’ll still have some pot left though, why did I do this? One thing I believe to be true of smoking point, and more now than ever that it DOES rob you of any motivation.

 

Mary Jane

Wouldn’t ya know I had a great day, worked out – ate properly, but then … cleaned my room up a bit and guess what I find? Some very appealing poignant, green stuff. I’m pretty high right now to be honest and so far I’ve excellent control of the eating thing. Gawd it’s nice to have something to inhale. I feel so calm … and can’t be bothered to worry about anything, I’m just too consumed with things just ‘being’, does that make sense?

No fears. No worries. No pain.

My ass has melted into this chair, and the only one real thought I have is that being on Celexa makes it impossible to reach orgasm.