Tag Archive: fat


New pictures finally added to the before and after.

Is it just me, or are things really fucked up about now?

I’ve spent most of the day numb … I seem to be successfully teaching myself how to shut down at times, it doesn’t always work for me and sometimes works at the reverse moments I want it too, but I’m getting better at it. I spilled an entire ‘bowl’ a little while ago and didn’t give a rats ass, then re-filled it good and took a nice long haul off it … burned my finger. It fascinated me. So I’ve experimented a little. I’ve found something I can control.

4 days left with him. This is just the most fucked up situation and I haven’t the strength to explain it. I only need to survive my arriving day home, April 3oth, I fear that day, I really mean it and that scares me.

I’ve not been sleeping well, up all hours of the night off/on, then wanting to sleep all damn day – so around 10:30 I took a couple of those night-time Tylenol and smoking another bowl now, so all should be better tonight and I’ll get some ZzZzzzz “

 

How I’ve been losing …

A couple of people have asked me, what I’ve been doing to lose weight, so … lemme tell ya, not sure if it’s been all ‘good’ or not, but this is my way 98% of the time.

I’ve started off with the little (but important and effective) changes first, things I didn’t think I’d miss, or would easily get used it. For example, milk and 1 sugar in my coffee, instead of 2 sugar and nasty cream.You’ll not find any sugar, butter, salt or ‘white bread’ products in my home. I refuse to buy them and threw away what I had. Tortillas, bread, pita, flour, etc, all whole wheat. My bread (Dempsters) is only 50 cals a slice. The yogurt I buy is the no-sugar added kind and is only 35 cals a serving. No sugar cereals, Shredded Wheat, oatmeal and the plain boring Cheerios, is all you’ll find here. (No worries, your kids will eventually stop hating you lol)

My kids think I’m crazy I think, I measure everything – and will continue to do so until I’m certain of various portion sizes. I hadn’t realized till I started this thing that when you’re eating properly, you can actually have a shitload more than you think without going over your daily calorie allowance. Yes, I said allowance. Lol

I’ve found Sparkpeople.com to be a GREAT resource, and I take full advantage of the tools and advice on there. You can log your work-outs, food, etc. Also, it ‘tallies’ a variety of things for you, like the number of calories you should be consuming daily (with fibre, carbs, protein, etc, break downs), your BMI, healthy weight, approx ‘goal date’, etc. Mind you, the goal dates are often 5434534 years away but that’s okay – their basing it on a healthy 1-2 pound loss a week. Which is safe and really, the average at which I’ve been losing. At 5 feet 2 1/2 inches, my goal is 130lbs. I know, still 30 pounds to go and here I am trying to give advice! Lol 😛

Anyway, the following is a typical day for me when it comes to meals:

Breakfast:
Coffee
2 pieces of whole wheat toast (nothing on my toast cuz I like my eggs runny)
2 eggs
yogurt
piece of fruit (sometimes I’m too full and have this as my in between breakfast and lunch snack)

Lunch:
1/2 whole wheat pita stuffed with 1/2 can tuna, chopped celery, red pepper, lettuce, 1 tbsp light mayo and mustard, pepper
glass of milk

If I’m hungry in between I’ll usually another piece of fruit or some veggies and low cal dip (all measured out of course lol)

Supper:
Baked chicken or something alike
veggies (always!)
brown rice, ‘healthy’ potato wedges, etc.

In the evening I’ll usually have another container or yogurt with a bit of flax-seed in it. You get the idea.

When I first started my ‘work-outs’ were one day on, one day off, repeat, but only for the first couple of weeks, as I wanted to get the eating properly down pack … I’ve learned that no matter how much you work-out, you’ll not lose weight and/or keep it off without eating properly.

Now, I’m working out on average 2/3 days on, with one day off. It’s bullshit for me to try to commit to 5 days a week (especially in a row) because I know I’ll never stick to it. Though this way, works out to an average of 5 times a week most weeks.

I usually spend 45-60 minutes on the treadmill (intervals most days) and then do some strength training. I never work the same muscle groups two days in a row though.

I don’t know what else to say …

Any suggestions on how I could be doing things differently? This seems to be working for me and it’s something I can stick with, so though I’d like to change it up here and there I don’t know that I wanna fix something that isn’t broken, so to speak! ♥

Fatttttttttt

Right, OK. So, I’m an idiot.

This is the final night of the weed, just finished it up. Fucked up my eating the other night, yesterday was shit (the right choices but seriously over ate) and today, well … chocolate and everything else ffs. Everyone keeps saying “It’s Christmas” blah blah blah, but, to myself I think NO FUCKING MORE EXCUSES!

On a lighter note, Christmas was nice. Had a great morning with my kids and then had ALL my boys together when my oldest and his girlfriend showed up. 🙂 Feels awkward sometimes though when they’re over, today did at least, things just so quiet … much of the talk was of nothing specifac. Can’t quite put my finger on it …

Anyway, I’ve fucked up, moods off and I feel frustrated, a little lazy and I’ve the energy of a nuns c^nt.